Why Is It So Hard to Accept My Body?

Overcoming Body Image Issues By Letting Go of Comparisons

Body acceptance can be difficult to achieve in this “diet-filled” culture that we live in, but it is possible. Comparing our bodies to others’ is a common habit that we use to validate our feelings that our bodies are not good enough. We compare ourselves to others in real-time, we compare ourselves to others on social media, and we sometimes even compare ourselves to past versions of ourselves.

We obsess over other people’s bodies, wishing we were as skinny as them, as toned as them, as curvy as them, as strong as them, as confident as them–the list goes on and on. We look back at pictures and think, “If only I looked like that, again. I would be SO happy.” We base our worth on our weight and our clothing size, telling ourselves if we get down to ‘X’ pounds and ‘X’ size in jeans, then we will be happy. We obsess over this belief that our body is wrong, that our body is unacceptable–that if we could just change ‘X,’ ‘Y,’ and ‘Z,’ we would finally feel worthy and comfortable in our skin.

Common Questions People Ask About Body Image Issues Are:

• Will we feel worthy?
• Will we feel comfortable in our skin?
• Or will our thoughts and feelings that we are not good enough follow us through whatever changes our body goes through?
• Will we be happier?
• More confident?
• Or will our insecurities follow us the same way?

The reality is that how we feel about our body has literally nothing to do with our body. We can change our body all we want–but that won’t solve our problem.

Because it isn’t our body that is the problem–it’s our mind.

Our eating disorders have fully convinced us that if we had that body, we would be happier. If we looked like we did 5 years ago, we would be more confident. We have been taught by our eating disorders to seek confirmation that our bodies are not good enough. Thus, we compare. And we then have an excuse or a reason to restrict, to over-exercise, to purge, to do whatever toxic eating disorder behaviors we have been working so hard to let go of. This is exactly what our eating disorders want to happen.

Confidence isn’t thinking you are better than anyone else, it’s realizing that you have no reason to compare yourself to anyone else. – Maryam Hasnaa

So, how do we begin to let go of the comparisons, heal our body image issues, and practice body acceptance? Well, it’s a process, like anything else in eating disorder recovery.

1. The first step is awareness. We must increase our awareness of our comparisons, so that we can move into action. Increasing awareness requires us to keep the idea of “Letting Go of Comparisons” at the forefront of our mind. So that any time we find ourselves comparing, we can stop it in its tracks.
2. The second step is action. What action steps do YOU need to take to make “Letting Go of Comparisons” easier on YOURSELF? Do you need to unfollow certain accounts on social media? Or maybe detox and delete social media altogether? Do you need to delete old pictures of yourself? Or maybe keep them in a hidden file so you don’t come across them as often? There is only so much you can do “action-wise” for real-time comparisons–it’s harder to take preventative measures as we can compare ourselves to others anywhere we go.
3. So, the third step is thought-stop and affirm. When you recognize that you are comparing your body to someone else’s–the second that you realize–stop the thought immediately. (Easier said than done!) Something helpful is to visualize an actual giant red stop sign, focusing your thoughts on that. Then, tell yourself a positive affirmation. This could be, “My body is exactly as it is supposed to be. I don’t need to look like anyone else except me.” Another example might be, “My body is my body. And it is good enough.” One more affirmation idea could be, “My body does not need to change. It is not wrong or bad. It is okay.”

Something to mention is that sometimes, we use comparisons to make ourselves feel better–this involves judging someone else. Telling ourselves, “Oh, well at least I don’t look like that.” So, even though that thought process is “technically” making us feel better about ourselves in the moment, is that really the way we want to do it? By putting someone else down?

So, same process here–when you notice yourself judging someone else’s body to make yourself feel better, increase awareness, take action, thought-stop, and affirm.

This takes practice. Be patient with yourself. Breaking a habit is hard to do, especially when that habit has been drilled into your head by an eating disorder. Show yourself grace and compassion. And do not give up. Because letting go of these comparisons is necessary if you want to make peace with your body once and for all.

FAB’s Body Image Therapist, Morgan, can help you begin to let go of these comparisons and make peace with your body. If you are thinking of trying therapy or are wanting to take the next step in healing your relationship with your body, take the TEST  and schedule your consultation with Dr. Jen, FAB’s Founder and Eating Disorder Therapist